⇒ cracked RROD

cracked.com's awesome, even-handed reaction to Xbox RROD

more epic humor from Cracked.com
"We now take it as pretty common knowledge that you just don't mess with Vietnam, even if you're an immensely powerful and technologically superior nation. They know kung fu, or something, and apparently every time they get invaded they simply level up."

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⇒ man up

photos made awesomer with lightsabers via nextround

related: the 8 manliest images via Cracked


related: starring saxton hale


via RPS
no idea, but looks awesome

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⇒ cracked

cracked article about 7 physics defying materials here
see them for the write up and the humor.




where can i obtain some of this non-newtonian fluid? I assure you, its for purely scientifice heh research

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⇒ misc

This vid won me over

Cracked:
Nuns who could kick your ass

8 moments from MMA

gourmet foods that used to be cheap

Mary's Room

Digit Ratio


sweet! Tatsunoko vs capcom coming to english territories!

Men's Fitness:
lose weight faster

muscle tricks

whup someone's ass

test your strength


tips for a better you
here's my summary:

• love what you do


• look after yourself


• never back down


• listen, observe


• come prepared


• got lemons? make lemonade


• don't lie to yourself


• finish what you start

Tennis time

:
Federer just won FO'09 and beat Rafa in Madrid Masters finals, straight sets. I'm guilty of having written off Fed. Impressive, not to take anything from Fed's win, but Rafa did just come off a (greatest best-of-3 clay) 4hr match the day before. Also, Rafa's most vulnerable in best of 3 matches, he's said so himself...then again, for Fed to win on clay in Rafa's home/dominant tournaments, is pretty big.
Federer's bagel party stats


Rafa training

Rafa interview | Rafa the unstoppable

pre-french open '09 mens predictions
ha ha...none of it accurate!

french open stats

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⇒ w20 d3

week has just flown right by!
cracked articles: http://www.cracked.com/article_16556_15-images-you-wont-believe-arent-photoshopped.html

coconut crabs: http://www.buzzle.com/articles/coconut-crabs.html
they're friggin' huge

grand prismatic spring: http://www.myconfinedspace.com/2008/08/01/grand-prismatic-spring/
real purdy like...

'black hole' house:
http://www.hemmy.net/2007/06/11/inversion-house-tunnel-art/

5 most badass presidents
http://www.cracked.com/article_15895_5-most-badass-presidents-all-time.html
I know I've posted this before but re-reading it is still funny.

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⇒ bits and pieces from the week

News.com.au story about a cane toad eating its natural predator, a snake here

Jackass mother takes 8 yr old son to TDK, resulting in fun and laughs for all. Story from an equally vapid reviewer.

Guide to all things Batman here
best Batman according to Cracked.com...awesome!
An electric car that doesn't look crap
Transistors on paper
Baton phone
S60 touch interface
Audi's new MMI
Uber-luxe Bentley laptop
Unisex tennis tourney coming. Preidiction? It will be played once, and never again. Ridiculous rule changes or not, Nadal/Federer's awesomeness will embarrass/destroy everyone else, especially female players who've never played all rounder-specialists like the two kings. I'm a realist, not sexist--just think about it. If you're rallying, the last person you want to rally against is Nadal, and he regularly thrashes people over 5 sets--how many female players regularly play 5 setters? The under-arm serve is utterly ridiculous/stupid. How will any one serve volley?
Genesis climber Mospaeda
Cheat Sheets. Tres useful
Hardware and tech how-tos
Wikipedia GPS entry.
10 ways to troubleshoot a slow PC
Latest Bush-ism. "Wall St got drunk"
Ridiculous RAM from Texas Memory
Photovoltaic window cells
HDTV Calibration
Hologram progress

Small venture capitalists: Y combinator. Good idea, if a bit greedy.
SE roundup
Kojima comments on gaming
Squidoo. Point your 'lens' over topics you know about and earn...something.
Wikigroaning. Gddmn hilarious!
LittleBigPlanet for PS3
Cracked.com video about amazing trick shots
Cracked.com article about Celebrities who might be superheroes
Cracked.com article about 7 who cheated death

Old Santa with humorous physics/joke (I remember bringing this in to my Physics class back in 2001):
Physics Of Santa Clause - Santa Is Dead Theory

As a result of an overwhelming lack of requests, and with research help from that renowned scientific journal SPY magazine (January, 1990) - I am pleased to present the annual scientific inquiry into Santa Claus.

1. No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.
2. There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.
3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seemes logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.
4. The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal anount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth. 5.353,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion: If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

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⇒ cracked me up

from here:
http://www.cracked.com/article_16179_10-most-baffling-computer-gadgets-money-can-buy.html

Cracked.com continues its run of awesomeness:
http://www.cracked.com/article_16152_10-highly-anticipated-video-games-youll-never-get-play.html
This article encapsulates my sentiments about Juno pretty well.
http://www.cracked.com/article_16161_if-juno-was-10-times-shorter-100-times-more-honest.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_16176_8-pointless-laws-all-comic-book-movies-follow.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_16158_11-most-unintentionally-gay-rap-lyrics-ever.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_16073_7-ballsiest-sports-cheats-ever.html
http://www.cracked.com/blog/2008/04/21/how-to-make-your-own-judd-apatow-movie/
http://www.cracked.com/article_15201_mock-draft-top-11-movie-basketball-players-all-time.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_16074_13-most-irresponsible-self-defense-gadgets-money-can-buy.html

choice excerpts:

If you ask us, there aren't enough games set in the early '70s, an era when the streets were full of huge cars and pimps, when everybody smoked and cops carried huge revolvers that could kill you from the sound alone
If they want Eastwood to do the voice, they need to get on that because the man just turned 136.

The Diablo series is what happens when you let red-blooded, meat-eating Americans make a role-playing game. Gone are the androgynous heroes, talking raccoons and quests that revolve around retrieving used panties you find in Japanese RPGs, replaced instead with demon killing. Lots and lots demon killing.

For some unknown reason, tradition states that the first movie must consist largely of something no one in the audience paid to see: The superhero as he lived before he could do any cool superhero stuff.

Other genres don't feel the need to do this; Die Hard didn't spend the first half of the movie with John McClane taking target practice, Rambo didn't spend an hour showing Rambo in basic training. Why can't we just jump in?

For instance in Superman II, a Superman who is desperate to get into Margot Kidder's pants reveals his secret identity, undergoes possibly permanent genetic damage by using radiation to get rid of his powers, walks from the North Pole to Alaska, and gets a good beating along the way. Hope she was worth it, dude.

Michael Keaton, also in an effort to get into somebody's pants, reveals his secret identity in Batman Returns to his girlfriend and the Penguin, also revealing a previously unknown fact about Batman: his mask is made out of Fruit Roll-Ups.

forgot to mention: 28 gym visits left.

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⇒ more cracked

well written and somewhat factual(?). Cant get enuff:
http://www.cracked.com/article_15895_5-most-badass-presidents-all-time.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_15788_top-25-men-who-look-like-old-lesbians.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_15801_5-current-genetic-experiments-most-likely-destroy-humanity.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_14980_most-common-sci-fi-visions-future-why-theyll-never-happen.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_14945_5-recent-scientific-advances-how-theyll-destroy-us-all.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_14981_8-most-needlessly-detailed-wikipedia-entries.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_15823_5-wimpiest-pro-sports-injuries-all-time.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_15646_worlds-most-ridiculous-sports-team-names.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_15209_10-most-insane-sports-in-world.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_15201_mock-draft-top-11-movie-basketball-players-all-time.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_15212_8-most-insane-moments-in-professional-wrestling.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_15221_upcoming-celebrity-sports-movies.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_15165_8-manliest-musicals.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_15163_5-most-unintentionally-hilarious-movie-sex-acts.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_15836_12-most-awesomely-ridiculous-ebay-auctions.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_15716_6-most-overhyped-technologies.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_15696_10-most-irritatingly-impossible-old-school-video-games.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_15655_5-awesome-sci-fi-inventions-that-would-actually-suck.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_15657_world-warcraft-world-10-ways-online-gaming-will-change-future.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_14519_25-secret-perks-working-at-google.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_15229_5-things-hollywood-thinks-computers-can-do.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_15243_next-25-years-video-games.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_14789_8-least-threatening-comic-book-villains.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_15240_8-funniest-webcomics.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_15230_that-went-away-too-soon-6-more-that-need-die.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_15227_12-great-video-games-with-ridiculous-premises.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_15760_closeted-badasses-6-famous-wusses-that-would-own-you.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_14923_10-most-improbable-celebrity-fistfights.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_14941_when-genius-fails-10-biggest-wastes-talent.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_14910_mello-yello-go-bots-top-10-poor-mans-versions.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_14926_9-most-typecast-actors-all-time.html
more from:
http://www.cracked.com/humor-tv.html
http://www.cracked.com/humor-movies.html

the dolph:

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⇒ cracked

the writing style has won me over:
http://www.cracked.com/article_15819_5-movie-martial-artists-that-lost-deathmatch-dignity.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_15679_5-upcoming-comic-book-movies-that-must-be-stopped.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_15853_6-cutest-animals-that-can-still-destroy-you.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_15859_10-words-phrases-you-wont-believe-shakespeare-invented.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_15001_insane-japanese-halloween-costumes.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_15816_5-most-horrifying-bugs-in-world.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_15670_25-most-baffling-toys-from-around-world.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_15833_9-most-racist-disney-characters.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_15062_ridiculous-overseas-rip-offs-american-films.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_15856_7-most-unforgivable-grammy-award-snubs-all-time.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_15827_pimp-my-plate-most-retardedly-expensive-5-course-meal.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_14982_9-manliest-names-in-world.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_15714_9-most-unnecessary-greatest-hits-albums-all-time.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_14979_6-most-terrifying-foods-in-world.html

Tyson, the skateboarding bulldog http://www.skateboardingbulldog.com/
when will my dog be this awesome?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leeroy_Jenkins
original 'the thing' script:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/3756/jc/who/bonusid.htm

superman III: the smallville cut here: http://fanedit.org/wpTF/?p=303

the truth behind chimps and dolphins:
http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/ngm/0304/feature4/online_extra2.html
http://outside.away.com/outside/magazine/0999/199909outthere.html
they have homicidal tendencies

Come to me, son of Jor-El! Kneel before Zod!

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