⇒ cracked me up

from here:
http://www.cracked.com/article_16179_10-most-baffling-computer-gadgets-money-can-buy.html

Cracked.com continues its run of awesomeness:
http://www.cracked.com/article_16152_10-highly-anticipated-video-games-youll-never-get-play.html
This article encapsulates my sentiments about Juno pretty well.
http://www.cracked.com/article_16161_if-juno-was-10-times-shorter-100-times-more-honest.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_16176_8-pointless-laws-all-comic-book-movies-follow.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_16158_11-most-unintentionally-gay-rap-lyrics-ever.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_16073_7-ballsiest-sports-cheats-ever.html
http://www.cracked.com/blog/2008/04/21/how-to-make-your-own-judd-apatow-movie/
http://www.cracked.com/article_15201_mock-draft-top-11-movie-basketball-players-all-time.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_16074_13-most-irresponsible-self-defense-gadgets-money-can-buy.html

choice excerpts:

If you ask us, there aren't enough games set in the early '70s, an era when the streets were full of huge cars and pimps, when everybody smoked and cops carried huge revolvers that could kill you from the sound alone
If they want Eastwood to do the voice, they need to get on that because the man just turned 136.

The Diablo series is what happens when you let red-blooded, meat-eating Americans make a role-playing game. Gone are the androgynous heroes, talking raccoons and quests that revolve around retrieving used panties you find in Japanese RPGs, replaced instead with demon killing. Lots and lots demon killing.

For some unknown reason, tradition states that the first movie must consist largely of something no one in the audience paid to see: The superhero as he lived before he could do any cool superhero stuff.

Other genres don't feel the need to do this; Die Hard didn't spend the first half of the movie with John McClane taking target practice, Rambo didn't spend an hour showing Rambo in basic training. Why can't we just jump in?

For instance in Superman II, a Superman who is desperate to get into Margot Kidder's pants reveals his secret identity, undergoes possibly permanent genetic damage by using radiation to get rid of his powers, walks from the North Pole to Alaska, and gets a good beating along the way. Hope she was worth it, dude.

Michael Keaton, also in an effort to get into somebody's pants, reveals his secret identity in Batman Returns to his girlfriend and the Penguin, also revealing a previously unknown fact about Batman: his mask is made out of Fruit Roll-Ups.

forgot to mention: 28 gym visits left.

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