⇒ watched watchmen

From a very respected 'graphic novel' comes a very mediocre movie. Had this been made 20 years ago it might have been slightly better. Poor direction, mostly poor performances, characters I don't care about, sloppy or uninventive action scenes and a garish, awkward soundtrack really sunk this movie for me. I think an original soundtrack would have really aided in lifting this movie beyond it's telemovie feel--better yet, an intrumental-only original soundtrack. Nena Hagen's 99 red balloons felt so out of place in the middle of the movie and something about hearing pop music while watching big blue Dr Manhattan attend a funeral makes me wanna break out in fits of ridiculous giggles.

I understand Snyder's trying to respect the source material but he's so chicken or uninventive that he pretty much lifted the script and cinematography from the panels of the source. Some things which work in print don't work on film. Same goes for Snyder's 300. And Rodrigues' Frank Miller's Sin City. Although Rodrigues' came right out and said that's what he aiming for. Action-wise, Snyder's whole schtick seems to be 'slo-mo'..."Hey, I think I'll slow this scene down...". Yeah great, what else you got? Snyder seems to be the opposite end of modern action-direction spectrum. Either too much shaky-cam and action edited too quick, or Snyder's slooooooooooooooooooo-mooooooooooo...Action cinema needs a reboot.

What worked for the me:
the visual effects were pretty ok I guess...
the cast really looked like their graphic novel illustrations (save for 'Ozzie')...
Billy Crudup's detachment? Though that might have been him experiencing all time at once and realizing this movie blows chunks.

What really broke my suspension of disbelief:
-overlong intro to 'times they are a changin' '
-excessive use of bloodstained smiley badge...we get it...it's iconic, it's merchandise...
-Patrick Wilson's Nite Owl. Half the time he talked just like that evil dude in Cinderella Man or he was Clooney-Batman. You know what I mean.
-Blue wang. If you're going to cut out the explanation as to why he's sometimes clothed/undressed/commando, why even show it?
-That thin, Zoolander-esque be-nippled, toupee wearing douche dude is THE smartest man alive? Gimme a f#ckin' break. I'm not the smartest anything but at least my password isn't plain english or the very publicly known object of obsession. Why was he giving us 'blue steel' the whole time?
-Silk Spectre. What was her superpower? Did she have one? So this 90lb ho goes around kicking ass in skintight latex with no powers at all?
-Intelligence--it had none.


Ultimately, I had a better time watching the first Watchmen trailer--you know, the one with Smashing Pumpkins' on it. Now give me back my two and a half hours.

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